She Rocks the Spectrum

Finding a Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapist

Not every therapist understands neurodivergence, and the wrong fit can do real harm — leaving you more unseen than before. This helps you find, and vet, someone who actually gets it.

Green flags vs. red flags

Green flags

• Treats autism / ADHD as a difference, not a defect to fix
• Knows about masking, burnout, sensory needs, monotropism
• Adapts their approach to you — format, pace, communication
• Respects your autonomy and your self-knowledge

Red flags

• Frames the goal as appearing 'more normal'
• Pushes eye contact or scripts over your comfort
• Dismisses self-identification or your lived experience
• Has no real experience with neurodivergent adults

Questions to ask in a first call

Worth asking

• What's your experience working with autistic / ADHD adults?
• Do you see neurodivergence as something to support, or to fix?
• How would you adapt sessions to how I communicate?

Questions I want to ask

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What affirming care looks like — and what to do if it isn't

Affirming care feels collaborative: your traits are worked with, not trained out. If a therapist leaves you feeling pathologised, it's okay to leave — that's information, not failure.

Shortlist tracker

Track who you're considering

Row 1

• Therapist or practice: ____________________
• First impression (Looks affirming / Unsure / Not a fit): ____________________
• Notes: ____________________

Row 2

• Therapist or practice: ____________________
• First impression (Looks affirming / Unsure / Not a fit): ____________________
• Notes: ____________________

Row 3

• Therapist or practice: ____________________
• First impression (Looks affirming / Unsure / Not a fit): ____________________
• Notes: ____________________

Row 4

• Therapist or practice: ____________________
• First impression (Looks affirming / Unsure / Not a fit): ____________________
• Notes: ____________________

The right fit is worth the search: A neurodiversity-affirming therapist can be the difference between care that helps and care that harms. You're allowed to be picky about who you trust with this.