A Therapy Center for Autistic Girls & Women
She Rocks the Spectrum
Getting Started
If you can sit for an hour knowing you need to do something and still not start, that's not laziness or a character flaw. For a lot of neurodivergent people the wanting and the doing get disconnected — the brain struggles to shift from one state into another. The fix isn't pushing harder, which usually just adds stress. It's lowering the friction so the start gets easier.
Name the stuck task
The thing I'm stuck on right now
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How stuck do I feel?
Rate from 0 (I could start) to 10 (Totally frozen): ____
Which kind of stuck?
- [ ] Stuck at rest — I can't get started
- [ ] Stuck in motion — I can't stop something I'm absorbed in
- [ ] Stuck switching — I can't move from one thing to the next
Shrink the first step
The goal isn't to do the task — it's to make the very first move so small it's almost silly. Two minutes, one action. Starting is the hard part; momentum often takes over after.
My two-minute first step (e.g. 'open the laptop', 'put one dish in the sink', 'put my shoes on')
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Make an if-then plan
Linking a specific cue to a specific action makes it more automatic, so you rely less on remembering or feeling motivated. Fill in both halves.
If → then
Row 1
- If / when (a cue already in my day): ____________________
- then I will (the tiny first step): ____________________
Row 2
- If / when (a cue already in my day): ____________________
- then I will (the tiny first step): ____________________
Row 3
- If / when (a cue already in my day): ____________________
- then I will (the tiny first step): ____________________
Example: 'If I finish my morning coffee, then I'll open the bill and just read the first line.'
Borrow some momentum
Working alongside another person — even silently, even on a video call or a 'study with me' video — lowers the energy it takes to begin. You don't have to do the same task; you just both work.
Who or what could be my body double (a friend, a call, a cafe, a livestream), and when?
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- [ ] I'll text someone 'starting now' and 'done' to bookend it
- [ ] I'll go somewhere with other people around
Plan the exit too
If you're the type who can't stop once started, set the ending in advance so you don't burn out or lose the whole day.
My stop signal (an alarm, a hard stop) + a 60-second wrap-up: save, note the next step, step away
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Ramps, not pressure: If 'try harder' worked, you'd have done it already. Changing the first step and the environment is the actual skill here — and it's one you can get better at.
Go deeper
Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.
- Motivation and the Wall of Awful, from The Adult ADHD Course. Why starting is the hardest part with ADHD — the Wall of Awful, activation energy, and the interest-based engine — plus what actually helps you begin.
- Executive Function, from The Neurodivergent Brain. Why the ADHD brain runs on interest not importance, why autistic set-shifting is costly, plus time blindness & task initiation.
- Therapy, Coaching, and Skills That Actually Help, from The Adult ADHD Course. Why willpower fails and scaffolding works: skills that fit the ADHD brain, coaching, and self-compassion.
