She Rocks the Spectrum

The Friend Test

Most of us speak to ourselves in a voice we'd never use on someone we care about. The double-standard technique uses that gap on purpose: if you'd never say it to a friend, it probably isn't a fair thing to say to yourself either.

What I said to myself

The harsh thought, exactly as I said it to me

______________________________________________
______________________________________________

Now a friend says it about themselves

Imagine someone you care about said this exact thing about their own situation.

What I'd genuinely say back to them

______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________

Notice the gap

How different are those two responses?
Rate from 0 (The same) to 10 (Worlds apart): ____

Borrow your own kindness

The friend-version, turned toward me

______________________________________________
______________________________________________

The gap is the clue: A big gap doesn't mean you're a hypocrite — it means you already have the fairer standard. You just aren't pointing it at yourself yet.